A Lamp For My Feet

One of my favorite quotes about the act of writing goes something like this:

“Writing is like driving a car at night. You never see further than your headlights, but you can make the whole trip that way.”

It makes sense. You write, back up, go another way, ask for help, but keep on day after day, until you get where you want to be with the work you value so much. 

Being a new Christian can be like this process of writing. For instance, at the moment things are bumpy and my life is less than perfect. I’m divorced and I can feel lonely and disapproved of at times. I also have a degree but am unemployed. It can and, at times, does hurt.

This week I felt overwhelmed. I tried to find comfort and talked to a friend who texted me and said: “Sometimes we need to lose it all in order to gain what God wants us to have.  It wasnt exactly what I wanted to hear but what, deep down, I needed. That is why he is such a valuable friend. He gave me truth. I am, by all accounts, completely stripped of my former life. But if I had not lost it all would I have completely turned my life over to God? That is a question I could easily lie to myself about.

 In this past week of feeling the pain and acknowledging the loss, I came across a passage from Psalm 119:

Your Word is a lamp for my feet
a light for my path
I have taken an oath and
confirmed it
that I will follow your righteous laws
I have suffered much
preserve my life Lord
according to your word
I was overcome by what I gained there in the reading. Think about it. If it is completely dark and you place a blindingly bright lamp at your feet, the immediate area around you will be lit up but the brightness will slowly fade into the shadows the farther out into the night you go. God’s word is the lamp at my feet and He leads me and guides me along the way. It is not that His Light ever dims but in my humanness, I do not see the entire road, only what is right in front of me. So I must cling to Him, and to His Word, and trust always in Him. 
So as I continue on this journey, new Christian that I am, I do not know what God has in store for me. The old has fallen and been stripped away and in time God will let me know which turn in the road I am to follow. I continually must hold myself out in an act of trust knowing that Jesus won’t ever let me fall. His Word will always be the light for me every step of the way.

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